1 step forward, 2 steps back

by E.K

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1.
Rolling Stop 02:50
This shit right here been a long time coming Was a child of the corn, but now your boy resides in C-H-I, and we live Fucking with Harold's and if you give me five guys To get in a battle with, I hope they ain't been Spittin that shallow shit, my lyrics be the Keys that open doors for you to eclipse, show off your black skin White ain't the only thing that seeing light, ya bish Word to Kendrick cause we all live in a mad world California burning, news putting our head in twirls And what's worse is that ignoring it is like A boomerang, try as you may, it'll come right Back at ya (Bam!) Shout out my (Fam!) Ya Gucci looking goofy like some comic (sans!) I'm just (saying!) your brands don't equal fashion Think you on the edge like your name was Dan the Dancer But instead you lacking, feeling real infatu- ated with the way that I be switching up my style Like always eating Chick-Fil-A when you could just go out Down to the Popeyes, hope that you don't pop guys Boondocks been prophesized, killing season has arrived Terror raining from the sky, it's crazy you know This life is a show, but if that's how it must go Then it's always sunny in Chicago Re-cord in Plainfield chasing my goals Be-fore the playing field takes up my soul Of course I'll take deals if they give me gold But a 360? Hell naww No one ever really stops at a stop sign Better roll that shit cause even if I got mine I'mma keep pushing, pushing, pushing forward Pushing, pushing pushing forward Don't got time anymore for your laws If you ain't been fucking with us, it's your loss Still I'm pushing, pushing, pushing forward Pushing, pushing forward Ayy, fucking with me now yet? Dopamine's so much that I'm drowning I know this'll be lasting Through the trials and tribulations we build mountains Fucking with me now yet? Dopamine's so much that I'm drowning I know this'll be lasting Through the trials and tribulations we build mountains Now is my style like the 90's or is it Gambino? It's both of 'em, shit ain't how it seem yo Could be only riding to the Pharscyde But imma never let the rap game pass me by And that's why I, got Tribe and Carti On the same playlist, haters ain't shit We keep faith in, our creations As long as you ain't been IceJJFish I mean, they even looked at Dre as an alien So you just gotta keep your heart to the sky Keep your heart to Dubai while you smoke a Burj Khalifa Roll deep in your paper shit Adele'll be your savior Know that I'll be changing, as I get older And I see the world, and I begin to grow But I hope I know that I'll always deliver Gobez lij, you'll be one to remember No one ever really stops at a stop sign Better roll that shit cause even if I got mine I'mma keep pushing, pushing, pushing forward Pushing, pushing pushing forward Don't got time anymore for your laws If you ain't been fucking with us, it's your loss Still I'm pushing, pushing, pushing forward Pushing, pushing forward Ayy, fucking with me now yet? Dopamine's so much that I'm drowning I know this'll be lasting Through the trials and tribulations we build mountains Fucking with me now yet? Dopamine's so much that I'm drowning I know this'll be lasting Through the trials and tribulations we build mountains
2.
Interest 03:46
Pay interest to chase your interests so you can go get a pension That you won't even be using, it's ludicrous, did I mention That citizen kane's been paying to hit you up with that tec It's school shooters or robots, oh god what happens when They combine em and then try it on people that been dissenting And by dissenting they mean the people that been descending From places that aren't Europe, you're right, do something bout it Oooh you need some paper for that? No I ain't got it Cause it's not in the budget! Quit ya little budging! My bank account I love it, let me fuck it til its knees weak And we'll leave paper trails all over the room I'm a badass nigga with a motherfucking attitude Some of ya'll say it's bootlicking, but I think it's cute How you think anything else matters 'cept getting that loot And no you won't get it for masters that you make But the masters up above, well shit they making bank So just be a good nigga, then maybe you'll get a house Rent control got you down, well shit I got an ounce Of that nihilist tea to help you go cope with things Opioids get your hoping up when you going through these Times that you think are rough so quit slacking around If you fuck up then you'll end up crashing and won't be found Cause you don't fit in machines, and that's what's gon replace you Killing yourself to help when we all judged by Jesus I'll take your life and then I'll take some interest But that shit ain't enough, oh yeah So I think it'd be in your best interest If you just gave up on your love, hey That'll come with some interest You gon pay for your wishes? Who gon pay your tuition?!? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah That'll come with some interest You gon pay for your wishes? Who gon pay your tuition?!? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Happiness, is a luxury I've learned When it comes between tearing myself apart and bridges burnt I'll take the former any day, I'm just petty anyway I've been in a race and I'm not tryna be in any place But first, cause if this shit don't work what will I do If I pursue any subject that interests me then I'm doomed Cause I really don't matter in the bigger scope of things Put a stethoscope to the pulse of the globe and then you'll see That it's gonna beat regardless of if I'm here or not So don't think about the big picture tying yourself in knots but That's what I'm inclined to do, being alive you choose To either give a shit or not my guy so I would lose What little hope I have if I didn't go try although I know that it's more likely I'll fail Mr. Smart Guy No one remembers my name, don't be a waste dude Killing myself to help when we all judged by Jesus I'll take your life and then I'll take some interest But that shit ain't enough, oh yeah So I think it'd be in your best interest If you just gave up on your love, hey That'll come with some interest You gon pay for your wishes? Who gon pay your tuition?!? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah That'll come with some interest You gon pay for your wishes? Who gon pay your tuition?!? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
3.
Will I live on when I die? I probably won't in this life I'm jumping off a roof and when I land there's thuds but no cries If it's a badge that pushed me know he won't see judges for life It's sad he's just a rookie his mistakes are worth both your eyes And your mouth, and your ears, and your limbs too That's what I hear when I happen to be watching news And I tried to run away, bumping Cranes in the Sky Was isolated for so long but see the pain in my mind Didn't leave, just got bigger, who needs a liver Me? Don't even drink but somehow I need to feel bigger Than the Earth or the sky or a particle of dust Sitting down on my ass get rid of bad with a cup, right? Nah I'm a coward I'll sit here barely existing Wondering how it'd be different if I lived in a perfect world Would lonely be a thing or does that shit serve a purpose for us? The world's doors have opened and my brain has been feeling porous Although it knows that it could kill me, uh The 20-something vision done been unclear as it gets Ooh I'm not living Clear as it gets, ooh I'm not living Heeeeeeey-ooh And I've been living my life with alot of regrets Ooh I'm not living Lot of regrets, ooh I'm not living (But I'm trying to!) If you ain't been through shit, your life's worthless And I haven't so I gotta go and make myself suffer Toxic voice in my head there's some things but they ain't nothing Compared to others so I should shut the fuck up and love this Empty life I've been living what would I say to my mother She came a long way for you to throw in the towel But no matter if I be down or up or sideways Everywhere that my head turns surroundings be looking gray Need The Giver to color so I won't be lead astray But that nigga ain't real, nobody has all the answers, uh We wash away our sins but get left with some dandruff Maybe I should go back to church while on the search for that love From the Earth or a person or the spirits up above Cause finding love in numbers gon only give you a buzz For a minute, there's always some that can't be beat Is this vanity, disguised as practicality? If I don't find out, know that it'll kill me, uh The 20-something vision done been unclear as it gets Ooh I'm not living Clear as it gets, ooh I'm not living Heeeeeeey-ooh And I've been living my life with alot of regrets Ooh I'm not living Lot of regrets, ooh I'm not living (But I'm trying to!) Riding on the orange line, looping through the city Lifestyle that I wanted, everything is super pretty Ayy, big and small at the same time (Yup, Yup) Big and small at the same time Riding on the orange line, looping through the city Lifestyle that I wanted, everything is super pretty Ayy, big and small at the same time (Yup, Yup) Big and small at the same time
4.
(1,2,3,4) People want the chains But no one wants to be chained down, down People want to change But no one wants to change themselves Memories lurking, dependency's certain I know that it hurts when I Count down The moments that we have But things always change and its okaaayaaay It's all different now (movin, movin, movin, movin, movin, movin) It's all different now (movin, movin, movin, movin, movin, movin) Ay In this journey of the Blooming flower I'm embracin Pollination's needed to complete The sequence, elevating the Game, AKA fuck it up Niggas talking bullshit that's enough I been out here moving, I can't bluff From Plainfield, now my playing field Is C-H-I-C-A-G-O Love'll last unlike J-lo And Drake, offsets cardi-o Vascular pumps that increase all the thumps Of the blood to your lungs and your nerves when you're nervous Come back home and see your fam's been learning Brother graduated high school! Lil cousin going in it and he's yearning For success while my mental page turning Back to when he was the age of seven Watching that Bakugan, he wanted to have 'em all My life done felt like a ball, we all were Innocent, Barack was President (Heh), racist shit would Dip, but it's still relevant Pinch me I really hope that I'm dreaming Cause life is moving, I got my blueprint But I might just go change it again Again Life is moving, I got my blueprint But I might just go change it again Again (Bring that shit back) People want the chains But no one wants to be chained down, down People want to change But no one wants to change themselves Memories lurking, dependency's certain I know that it hurts when I Count down The moments that we have But things always change and its okaaayaaay It's all different now (movin, movin, movin, movin, movin, movin) It's all different now (movin, movin, movin, movin, movin, movin) Ayy Missed birthdays, I ain't courte- Ous so tear me down, uh Always stepping up, diving in's a must But I turn my ass around, off Of the board and then the faucet's leaking As the stock is sinking into the ground Lots to keep up, but truth be told I Just wanna sink in for a little while Cause I've changed like everything around me But inside I still feel the same Regardless of how my feats be astounding Somebody's gon feel some type of way That sensitivity to rejection Repeating from one thing to the next one Grades, rapping, friends, Habeshas One night I looked up and wished on a star That somehow I'd be able to move out Without missing my old house Or throwing a pout bout how these niggas let you down Cause ruminations heading south Imma go ahead and hit that loud So that you can hear me clearly when I speak Know acceptance is desired, but one thing that I don't Wanna become is a copy, so be It God, Imma change at your pace Until one day we're even Even God Imma change at your pace Until one day we're even Even (Stop trying to be him!) People want the chains But no one wants to be chained down, down People want to change But no one wants to change themselves Memories lurking, dependency's certain I know that it hurts when I Count down The moments that we have But things always change and its okaaayaaay It's all different now (movin, movin, movin, movin, movin, movin)
5.
Dance in the water hope you don't get wet! Heh, try not to sweat Keep the poncho on ya like a tec Heh, won't need respect Rain gon fall but I got me a poncho In a dorm room, lived close to the top floor Don't got time for those that fake macho You ain't nacho, nigga this is not your Boxing ring so go head and leave it Best believe my people been scheming For reasons to go and believe in our dreams If the, rap game Chi I'm at the bean And my, rap game pride torn at the seams But Imma keep on going on anyway Because what goes around, comes back around Love the sound of that future like Timberlake, in the days That we live in, shit ain't always true Turn on the news, bet them guns been drew And them lines been too, so what am I to do? Stuck my mind in the sand, still the water runs through It's... exhausting (mmm) Whenever I sleep I be tossing (mmm) Whenever I tweak I be talking (mmm) To somebody through a screen but it's not enough Substances cause the water to erupt 'Specially cause I got it from Dasani get it out my face Knuck if you buck, just be sure to not give up When they throw some juju on it show you how you get replaced And I been feeling lonely about everyday But the poncho keep me from feeling a thing Made together with dreams, new realities That may one day come true hope that I'm not too late Blow smoke at me, your car horn gon scream 'Fore you crash guess you should have just stayed in your lane I ain't asking you twice, just repeat after me World crazy but it ain't gonna fuck with E.K Cause the Rain gon fall but I got me a poncho In a dorm room, lived close to the top floor Don't got time for those that fake macho You ain't nacho, nigga this is not your Boxing ring so go head and leave it Best believe my people been scheming For reasons to go and believe in our dreams
6.
Person 02:43
Empty conversations bout progression (ughh) Empty hearts and pens in smoke sessions (ughh) Empty but there's still feelings of tension Just doing what I gotta do to go and make a living Definite-ly offending somebody just cause I'm existing And I don't live up to your stereotypes Black boy from a white town, breaking all these bars down Mental jails fail unless you wanna fit in 'em But sometimes you see these traps comforting Cause internet niggas always been leveraging insecurities Fears of living, fears of dying, fears of being lonely crying Walking off a plank blindfolded, jump and hope you'll find a Chest with a white picket fence and a house Or cheese for the mouse, that's satisfaction no doubt But when the mouse gets hungry, it's gonna go and leave ya Guess that's what happens when you've been living for other people now Can I live for a minute? Tryna be the person that I haven't been in So looooong So looooooong Can I? Now can I live for a minute? Tryna be the person that I haven't been in So loooooong So looooooong Can I? (Keep on falling on my face, right back to my place, place) Empty colleges 'cause of collapse (ughh) Empty like what's in my hands after the fact Graduate into recession hope to learn some type of lesson Some'll say you sell your soul or lie flat on your ass 'Cause you either at the top or the bottom right? Everything's done and done, don't need a piece of your mind Well I'm gonna speak my truth, couldn't give a fuck bout you That last half bar was a lie, but I'll keep pushing through Chucking deuces every time I look up in the mirror 'Cause I'm never really clear on just what I see Over-extension of the soul could turn the warmest hearts cold And everybody's gonna tell you that's how it be But instead of climbing up the ladder, grabbing on a .44 I fell all the way down and had a 4:44 Empty cups gotta be filled, that's what you have them for The universe works with purpose know you're never alone now Can I live for a minute? Tryna be the person that I haven't been in So looooong So looooooong Can I? Now can I live for a minute? Tryna be the person that I haven't been in So loooooong So looooooong Can I? Keep on falling forward, forward All flat on my face, face 2 steps back, but that one step for me Gon get me to a better place, place Keep on falling forward, forward All flat on my face, face 2 steps back, but that one step for me Gon get me to a better place, place

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released September 11, 2020

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E.K Chicago, Illinois

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